Once again Fadra's blog prompt makes me think we on the same wavelength and will take me more than the five minutes she allots to write the post. When I logged into my accounts I realized that I have so many blog posts that I've started, saved and when I went back to re-read what I had written declared, "Oh no! I can't post that!" I play it safe. I am so afraid that someone will read what I write and I will get verbally attacked by someone who will read what I have written and that I won't be able to properly defend myself. Or that attack on my words will be used as an opportunity to make EVERYTHING that I do and say as a reason to nitpick every bit of my life.
I am such a coward. The things I blog about are so mundane and superfluous that I want to kick my own butt. But it's safe and safe is the way to go right? After hearing about people losing their jobs due to a Facebook post or a blog written on THEIR time but about their work I find myself re-reading and editing posts until they are safe and I feel confident that I won't called in front of my director at work to defend what I wrote.
The last few weeks at work, home and life in general made me realize that even playing it safe is not always going to be, well safe. So bunk it. Here is a list of things Things I should be writing about but never do. Until now.
SexYup. I have it and I like it and am going to write another Eden's Fantasy post about it cause they offer gift cards and I saw something that I wanted. For so long I've thought of sex as something to be embarrassed about and to giggle and change the subject. I'm smart and mature and while at the present I have a hate/hate relationship with my body, I have a man who thinks I am a queen and dammit I will get out of my own head and enjoy him while he enjoys me. I'll take him up on his offer to embrace the idea of self love. That kind too.
Keep your bad ass kids homeI'm a parent and I'm all for exposing your kid to the finer things in life and letting them experience things. I applaud you and your kids are probably not the ones I am talking about. But when they are bad, and YOU know what I'm talking about, keep your kids in check or keep them at home. This includes you parents who got kicked off the Jet Blue plane and went on The Today Show to whine about it. (I voted and agreed with the people who agreed with Jet Blue.)
MoneyI'm bad with it and sweet pickles does it worry the crap out of me. It's like a chain that I wear and it gets heavier the more I think about it. I still don't have a decent plan and may or may not be robbing Peter and stalling Paul. Again.
Which leads me to The Side Hustle.I Know I need to get one but I am so damned afraid that I will either be a failure and hear a whole lotta told you so's or I'm afraid that I will be successful and won't be able to handle it. Trippy, yo? So for now I am all talk.
Weight.I know I'm supposed to be all like, "I just want to be healthy" but nuts to that. I hate looking at my fat thighs, my fatter stomach and my big flabby ass. I'm working on it but it sucks that its not easier, that its so much fun to eat crap and I didn't notice that I was putting weight on and FFS its hard as Hell trying to get it off and quite honestly if I could figure a way to eat chips and lay on the couch and still lose weight I would sign up in a heartbeat. Instead I am going to eat smaller portions, be pissy and hope that my heel stops hurting.
Let me stop. There are so many more topics that are not on the blog but let's face it, I'm not completely crazy. When I'm idependently wealthy I'll blog until my fingers bleed and will spill all. For now I still need to be cool. You can have some of me but there is really no need to access all of me. Feel me?
Hitting mute again,
This was my Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five-ish minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
- Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
- Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
- Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
- Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
- Link up your post on Fadra's site.
- Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.