November 1st is ...

...Book Lover's Day.
I can live with that.
Book Lovers Day encourages you to find a place in the shade to relax with a good book. Since it is almost winter I think I will relax in a patch of sun and finish up my book. Of course this will be after my totally awesome day meeting Nikki Grimes and Rosemary Wells.
Awesome!

Halloween was very anti-climatic. My kid went off with a neighbor and I spent the rest of the evening trying to reassure my three year old cousin that the "things in masks" were not going to get her.
We didn't get the usual obscene haul but we have enough to dip and nibble for the next few days.
I did eat about nine (OK, 13) pieces of candy so it wasn't all a bust.
I am tired now.
I am going to brush my teeth and hit the sack.
Later.
-r

Don't forget to vote!

I've never watched Chocolate News but I have to admit I am going to be extra courteous until Wednesday.
-r

Best Kid Ever!

I am still pretending that these blog posts are anonymous (lol) but in reality I am aware that everyone knows who I am as well semi-intimate details of my life.

Here is my pride and joy, the best thing I have done, my Bumblebee!

-r

Disclaimer: I was asked to put this pic up! Special request by the Bee

I clean up sort of well!

This was taken last night at the Mocktail kickoff for work.

Not a Great Gatsby fan although I do like The Double Bind.
-r

Addendum added 10/31: My 8 year old kid is reading Gatsby. She's on page 16. She is enjoying it. WOW!

Why, oh why?

I really was on my way to bed when I thought I would mosey on through Dead Azz Wrong. I was doing fine when I got to the you tube clip of the day for October 30th.
[shudder]
I will have a nightmare for sure!
I am not at all a fatist but d*mn! What fresh hell is that?
I am going for a run tomorrow.
And forget that Halloween candy eating post.
Maybe.
Not!
-r

Thursday Tunes

A random iPod mix spun these tunes:
She Hates Me (Puddle of Mudd )
The Best is Yet to Come (Nancy Wilson)
Baby Got Back (Sir Mix a Lot)
Work It (Missy Elliott)
Bo Diddley's Moochas Gracias
Music Box (Regina Spektor)
The Rolling Stones.

No theme today. Just hit shuffle.

-r

What do Whitney, Danielle, Saleisha and Jaslene have in common?

They all competed at one time or another on a guilty pleasure known as America's Next Top Model.

Yes, one of my many guilty pleasures is America's Next Top Model. I have spent my fair share of days off and holidays sucked into a VH1 or MTv marathon. (Seriously, the show is like eating chips, one comes on and you are almost obliged to keep going.)

By no means am I a top model nor am I implying that I am better than these girls. I enjoy watching the show and after weeks of watching these girls, and months of watching marathons, I feel like I can make an informed opinion about what is going on.

Top Model is up to its eleventh cycle.I must say that this season seems to have taken a leap from what I had found to be the spirit of the show: choosing one girl from the thousands who entered and making her a top model. Actually, cycle ten seemed to be the decline of the show. Perhaps I am being dully influenced by gossip rags or maybe my interest are changing. In any event it seems like the judges are phoning it in and going through the motions.

I want to know who this cycle's winner is but I have to say that I am am a bit put off with Tyra and company's shenanigans. The judges seem, mean. Tyra and Co are sarcastic, condescending, conflicted and really unpleasant.

Of the five remaining girls I like best Mckey who looks way older than 19. This is not meant spitefully but she seems to have a grace and style that I don't see in my 18 year old coworker.
Analeigh is pretty and takes great pictures but we've seen it all before. No oomph
Marjorie: ahh, I am so sick of her nerves. Marjorie uses being a French homeschooler as a reason for being a pain in the *ss. From now on when I fudge up at work, I am going to use my heritage (or lack there off but that is for another post) as an excuse. Marjorie looks like an old woman with a hunchback.
Of course there is Sam, crazy wild girl. She really does nothing for me. Kind of forgettable.
And then there is Elina who jumped on the "I am not from America bandwagon and joined Marjorie for all of the "I am a foreigner nonsense."

I have come to change my mind about how hard these girls work. A model does not seem to be guaranteed work as is evident by my life as a Cover Girl weekly spots.
**Aside, is it me or are the past winners always filling out forms ala job application, going on a go-see in which they do NOT get the job or seem to trying to meet with designers who make them trey on clothes but don't hire them?

Do these designers even LIKE these girls. The girls have to wear all of these foul ugly clothes, shoes that can literally cause bodily harm and walk on runways filled with dangerous obstacles.
My kid wants to be a top model.
Ugh! Do I really want to see her gypped?
If ANTM is still on when Maddie gets older, no tv and she is going to be homeschooled.
-r

Tomorrow (October 31st) is...

...Halloween!
I still celebrate Halloween, the revered day in which we dismiss a year's worth of teachings and warnings and have our children disguise themselves in expensive store-bought costumes to beg for candy. At work I passed out posters with Halloween fun stuff on them and was informed by more than one parent that Halloween is not celebrated in their house.
To borrow from my sister, what kind of f*ckery is that?
Tsk, tsk, tsk (shaking head).
My child and I will be pagans, sort of. We are not going to be dancing under the pale moonlight but we will be getting a bag or two full of grub to carry us through most of November.
Dabnabbit, I want my fun size* bag of Skittles, fun sized Snickers and fun sized gummi savers.
I want to visit the party house (the house who gives out candy and soda (!!!) while barbecuing and listening to Led Zeppelin.
I am also going to spend the day in my jammies and my evening in a candy induced coma!
You read it right. Pics tomorrow.
-r

*fun sized really should be labeled "teases" 'cause it takes me about three of those suckers before I am having fun.

A good waste of yarn!

I just found the best new site, what not to crochet
Ugh!
It's no wonder why crocheters don't get the same respect as knitters.
I must say that the cat with the hat on page one is adorable.
-r

Apology to all

Just a very quick apology for my grungy hair.
I washed it today and while it is not doing the wavy loc thing it IS clean and shiny, shiny-ish.
-r

When storytimes goes wrong

Today's storytime was brought to you by the letters P and U and by the number 2, as in too sucky)

Ugh!

It was beyond horribly wrong, beyond a disaster.

My storytime sucked quarters.

Today's program was Wiggles 'n' Giggles, the idea borrowed from Paula Sell who works at the Roaring Springs Community Library. The idea is to get the kids moving using musical instruments, bean bags and music.

I started off weak and got progressively worse. I was unprepared and thought I could swing it.
I could not.

Instead of whining about for days on end, I am going to do something about it.
1) Be prepared! I will listen to musical selections more than once to get an idea of what I am listening to, the cues and the song.
2) Write it down! I need to be prepared for what I am doing and saying.
3) Have a back up.

More later.
-r

Old Moment

A few years back when I worked at Penn we got new computer software and programs. One of my co-workers freaked out because she was unsure of how the new software worked, whether she was going to know what to do and some other things that was a bit excessive. At the time I arrogantly told her that the software was easy, don't worry! It's no problem.
Flash forward and here I am trying to upload pictures from my camera.
I'm fussin' at myself for deleting some programs the other day, berating myself for everything from why I didn't take the red pill to why I ate that cookie today.
This dance went on for about 15 minutes until I realized what the problem was.
The printer was unplugged.
Duh.

The Phillies won

Since I don't care for baseball I'm over it already.
-r

*Yeah, that does sound pretty bitter. Oh well. Go team!

When grooming is torture

When did smearing hot wax on a person's body and then ripping it off become grooming?

Because I am

1. vain,



2. a fool and



3. Rachée

I asked my cousin to do her Marquis de Sade imitation and shape my eyebrows. She seems to get some type of thrill when the brows are extra bushy and she can go to town.

Red, raw, sore come to mind. And no, it is NOT the annoying adult acne that has plagued me lately but it's my eyebrows.

Oh well. I will look fab tomorrow when we have our Mocktail party.

-r

BTW: When did I get all of those freckles? I look like a ginger!

Showtunes snippets from my life...

...or I have too much time on my hands.

Hairspray/ You Can't Stop the Beat
...You cant stop my happiness
Cause i like the way i am ...

Rent/ Take Me or Leave Me
...take me for what i am
who i was meant to be
and if you give a damn
take me baby or leave me..

Rent/ Seasons of Love
It's time now to sing out,
Tho' the story never ends
Let's celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends
Remember the love!
Remember the love!
Seasons of love!

Gypsy/ Rose's Turn
Some people got it and make it pay.
Some people can't even give it away.
This people's got it and this people's spreadin' it around!
You either have it or you've had it!

Gypsy/ Everything's Coming Up Roses
You'll be swell!
You'll be great!
Gonna have the whole world on the plate!
Starting here, starting now, honey, everything's coming up roses!

Avenue Q/ Everyone's A Little Bit Racist
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
Even though we all know That it's wrong,
Maybe it would help us Get along.



Dreamgirls/ Move

Move, move!
Move right out of my life!
Move, move!
Move right out of my life!



Dreamgirls/I Am Changing

This time I am, I am changing

I'll get my life together now

I am changing

Yes

I know how

I'm gonna start again

I'm gonna leave my past behind

I'll change my life

I'll make a vow

and nothings gonna stop me now

-r

Soundtrack for Tuesday

As it seemed a faucet was turned on over the Delaware Valley here are my rain themed tunes for today:

Don't Rain on My Parade (Judy Garland's version)

Rainy Days and Mondays (The Carpenters)

Singin' in the Rain (Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds)

The Rain [Supa Dupa Fly] (Missy Elliott)

Rain Check (Ani DiFranco)

Rainy Day (Janel Parrish, aka Jade from the Bratz aka Miracle from Cake. I have an eight year old.)


OK.

Here is my other soundtrack. Tuesday was awesome.

(I)We Rock from Camp Rock: cuz today, I rock!

Cause (I) we rock!
(I) We rock!
(I) We rock, (I) We rock on!

Soundtrack for Monday

No particular order!

• Brahms Hungarian Dances #5
• Bach's Toccato and Fugue in D Minor
• Largo al Factotem (Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro!)
• O Fortuna
• Ride of the Valkyries
• Tchiakovsky's Overture of 1812
• Shostakovich's Waltz Number 2 from the Jazz Suite
• Rossini's William Tell Overture (aka the Lone Ranger theme)

This is the classical edition

Crochet

Still working on my daughter's blanket.
The granny squares are coming along nicely; up to five now!
More to come.
-r

Tomorrow (October 28th) is...

...National Chocolate Day.
O!
M!
G!
All gifts will be accepted!
It's also Diwali. Happy Diwali to all!
-r

Get Hooked, Again

A few years ago my sister decided that she would quit smoking and took up knitting. For a while she succeeded and was a knitting fool! Afghans! Socks! Scarves (one of which I wear every time the temperature dips to 50 degrees)! Hats!, you name it, she was making it! Her kids and my child all had a handmade something at some point in time.
Oh, she was a wiz with needles.
Due to the green eyed monster(his name is Oliver) and an unwritten rule of friendly rivalry, naturally I had to get in on the action. While she did admit that she was no teacher she gave it her best shot. Two is not always better than one and I never quite took to knitting. Instead, I liberated a hook from her, some yarn and following a disastrous chain and uneven stitches, I got my crochet on. In a moment of rare rationality, I was not sure if I were going to like this hobby and used to raid the Salvation Army where they had bags, and bags of yarn for sale. I got the hang of it (more or less) and ever since, have been hooked. As my right as a Fagg woman, I totally immersed myself in crochet. Patterns downloaded from the net and filed away. Yarn coveted, bought and traded. Books drooled over and bought. Hooks, hooks, hooks!


As with all of my follies, crochet has been an on again, off again affair. At times I am almost manic with it; I can't get enough of it and I churn out projects like a mad woman.
I have been on a slump lately. I look at the yarn and hooks and think of all of the glorious things should, could and shall make but my habit of procrastination or sometimes just being lazy takes control of my body and nothing gets done. For years I have crocheted in a offhanded way. I make a scarf, a half-*ssed hat or maybe even a poncho but have never made it a passion.

Saturday, I finally ventured out of my comfort zone and a friend and I went to a crochet group. The ladies I met yesterday ranged from novice to expert. My friend is an expert and it was she who got me off of my rusty dusty and made me go (thanks Mia!).
I was both awed and inspired. These ladies were passionate about what they were doing. They have sales. Flea market tables. They make money off of their passion. I am still blown away by the ideas that flowed through the room. They got my creative juices flowing and I am all about getting two projects banged out this week.

This week my goal is to finish my daughter's hoodie and the granny square blanket that I started in January (it's sad!) and post a pic of each.

Happy hooking!
-r

*Addendum added 10/30: Here is a pic of my Harry Potter scarf.

Tired!

Oh boy am I exhausted!
I spent a good part of my evening with Tim, Daisy, Marsha, Brian, Mike and Twist.
"Who are they?"you may ask. While I wish I could say that I was engaged in a night of lewd, lascivious debauchery these are merely characters from a Britcom, Spaced.
Two AM found me watching the entire two seasons of Spaced, a Britcom starring Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead) and Jessica Stevenson/Hynes (her name is listed with both surnames and she too was in Shaun).
Britcoms are sort of like bad cheese; It's yummy and filling but boy can it stink!
That may not be fair. I watch loads of TV but some of the pop culture references flew way over my head. I found myself drifting off a bit but there were a few characters that cracked me up. Such as messenger Tyres and his drug induced dancing to random household appliances and crusty Marsha predatory relationship with Brian.
I like Simon Pegg. I have a slight crush on his pasty doughy self (and he scores as Scotty in the new Star Trek film!!) I was a bit more tolerant of Tim's perfectly amusing rants against George Lucas for the crap that was "The Phantom Menace" .
*Aside: My ex, sister, brother in law and I all journeyed to a midnight viewing of Phantom Menace. That's one I can't get back. The one thing I remember from that movie is Jar Jar Binks (who really stinks) "Me-sah!"
Anyhoo, if you are able, take a look. Try before you buy! Borrow from your local library, hint hint!

Comic fans, stoners and slackers will love it.

-r

Why?

This was forwarded to me by my sister from someone on one of the lists she's a member of.
I am not sure if this is true but as I shake my head and chuckle I have to ask, "WTF?!?"

Le - a
This is a child's name!
'Le - a'
How would you pronounce this as a child's name???
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE Lay - a?? NO
Lei??
Guess Again.
Are you resorting to tongue clicks yet??
It's pronounced 'Ledasha' oh yes...you read it right.
This child supposedly attends a school in Livingston Parish, Louisiana .
Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. (Duh?)
When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, 'The dash ain't silent.'
There.
-r

Tomorrow (October 24h) is...

...National Bologna Day.
The meat or "try and pull the wool over my eyes"?
Hmm.
Either way I know what I'm having for lunch tomorrow. And to be wary of too good to be true stuff.
-r

Music makes you lose control!

The most played songs on my iPod are:

• Multiply by Jamie Lidell
• Dance to the Drummer's Beat by Herman Kelly
• You Know I'm No Good by Amy Winehouse
• New Shoes by Paolo Nutini
• Paper Planes by MIA
• Laundry by Bitter Sweet
• Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell
• Alter Ego by Clique Girlz
• Love Song by Sara Bareilles
• She Hates Me by Puddle of Mudd
• Mamma Mia by ABBA
• Kyle's Mom Is A B*tch by South park
• Get Up by Amel Larrieux
• Rich Woman by Robert Plant & Alison Krauss
• Shake Your Thang (It's Your Thing) by Salt-N-Pepa & E.U.

My tastes are all over the place.

I have tried to pick a soundtrack of my life. Depending on my mood I could probably go through every song on my iPod!

Today my soundtrack would include:

• Gnarls Barkley's Crazy: The kids at work had me on the edge!
• Help! (see above)
• Tears for Fears' Shout (Shout! Shout! Let it all out!)
• B*tch by Meredith Brooks (Although in all fairness this was my song for the week!)
• Stuck in the Middle with You (clowns to the left of me/ jokers to the right; here I am!)
• Donna Summer's She Works Hard for the Money
• Pat Benatar's Hit Me with Your Best Shot
• Superwoman (I am SUPERWOMAN, YES I AM! )

-r

Tomorrow, October 22nd is...

...National Nut Day.

They're watching me again!
Kidding.
Since it was not specified, I will enjoy the edible ones (almonds) as well as some of my co-workers.
-r

Excuses for not running

I WAS supposed to get off my rusty dusty and run this past weekend, yesterday and yet again today but when the alarm went off I found myself being lulled back to dream land by Ukee Washington.

I have no valid physical reason for my inactivity but thought I would list every thought that runs through my head when I am supposed to be getting my huff on.

Please to enjoy!

• It's too cold (sister of it's too hot)


• I can't find my iPod


• I have the iPod, where are my headphones?


• I have iPod and headphones, where are my sneakers?


• I have iPod, headphones and sneakers; where is my gum?


• Ohh! I never saw this video before (it was Rihanna?!?)


• I feel fat (sad but true!)


• One more chapter


• One more row (the blanket never did get finished)


• My favorite shorts are lost in the abyss that is my room


• A cup (or three) of coffee is needed first


• I need to watch the show I DVR'd last night (It was a Spongebob of all things!)


• The kids are here


• The kids are not here (so I took a nap)


• Dinner is ready


• It's too dark (cousin of hot and cold)


• It's too windy (in all fairness, I did get dirt in my eye that time!)

My marathon date has almost come. I did not register; I work Sundays now. That's my story and I'm sticking with it! But my 5K is coming. Tomorrow is another day and another chance to lace up my sneaks and give it a go.

-r

Tomorrow (October 19th) is...

..."Evaluate Your Life Day".
The satellite in space is working again!
I am having one of those "What am I doing with my life?!?".
(Please note, this is different then a pity party in which I would be saying, "Woe is me! What am doing?!?" or if I was still cursing and I would say "What the eff am I doing with my life?!?" as opposed to just saying it but as always, I digress.)
Anyhoo, tomorrow as I provide co-eds with extra paper for the copier and check out "Tattoo" for the 8th time, I will reflect on Rachée past, present and future.
Hmmm
I hope its good.
-r

The Swear Jar

One of my favorite episodes of The Simpsons came on the other day (Bart the Lover).
-Yes, I know the title.

One arc of the episode finds Homer attempting to build a dog house and, being Homer, screws up at every turn. With each screw up he cusses up a storm and the Flanders kids hear him.
When one is asked by his mother if he wants veggies, this exchange takes place:
Maude: Todd, would you like some mixed vegetables?
Todd: Hell no.
(Everyone gasps)
Maude: What did you say?
Todd: I said I don't want any damn vegetables.
Ned: Alright, that is it young man. No bible stories for you tonight.
(Todd runs to his room crying)
Maude: Weren't you a little hard on him?
Ned: Well, you knew I had a temper when you married me

So funny for so many reasons but this little episode reminded me of my potty mouth and my daughter. She is not telling me "hell no" but at the rate I'm going I'm sure a "Damn" or "Hell" can't be far behind! So, for my birthday, I have given myself the gift of a potty free mouth.
I have decided to give up cursing, swearing, cussin', foul language whatever.
I have not gone cold turkey; earlier today I had a few choice words to share with a fellow motorist. Not that she heard or that it made any difference in the scheme of things but I really feel in order to grow I should stop cussin'.

My decision to keep it PG has nothing to do with age nor did anyone ask me to do it but I am really wondering what kind of image do I portray 'effin' this or ' dumb-a' that.

*Sigh*

This means that there will be no more muted mutterings of j*ck*ss(my favorite), a*smunch (second favorite) or d*ckh*ad (so satisfying how it rolls off the tongue). I had to make up some new words while I make the transition:
Fudge Ripple
Jerk (not as much fun but the "ck" sound is comforting)
What the Ham Fat (again, not satisfying but really funny!)

Someone once told me that swearing is the lowest way to express yourself. Maybe it is but there is something so satisfying about a hissed swear word that describes every indescribable emotion.

So Goodbye, farewell and all that to cussin', cursing and all that jazz.
-r

Addendum added: 10/16
Yeah.
Not cussin', cursing and swearing is not working.
The swear jar is on hiatus dammit!
-r

Today is Virus Appreciation Day

Uh...
OK.